Hey, Hey, Hey, welcome today. Thank you for watching this video!
I just want to share with you something I wish I would have known the first time I stepped into one of the churches where I was abused. It still seems strange to say that, but especially in public. But that’s true. There’s a lot of abuse going on within the walls of the church. The reality is, is that we are the church, right? We don’t need a building.
One thing that I have learned in all of these 20 some years is that if they can get you to not trust your gut feeling, intuition, or what you feel inside then they can begin to manipulate you. We were told things like, ” Oh, if you came today and you don’t want to be here you’re supposed to be here. If you’re feeling like you want to leave, or you should be doing something else, that just means that you’re supposed to be here.” ” God has something for you or the enemy is trying to keep you from what God has for you.”
What that does is it tells you your subconscious, that you cannot trust your judgment, whether it’s your gut feeling, your heart, or simply just your mind. We, you know, God created us with common sense. He created us with desires in our hearts. He actually put those desires in and it doesn’t matter what religion or what your beliefs are. Everybody is welcome. Or even if you no longer believe in God welcome. I’m not here to tell you that you have to believe in God when you choose not to.
I know there was a season when I was coming out of being wounded. I didn’t want to talk about God. It was a process for me. And so wherever your beliefs are right not is fine..
God created us with so many amazing things. He gave us a brain. He gave us common sense. He gave us a heart that he puts desires in them. I’m not going to go there. There’s another teaching that I’ll talk about later, but he gave us that gut feeling. He gave us an instinct. He gave us discernment. And so when you go into a church building or started attending a certain denomination church, whatever Bible study club and they tell you that you cannot trust what you”re feeling or what your thinking? That’s actually a sign of manipulation. And if I would’ve known that back then I would have turned around and walked out the door. There were times when I would go against my better judgment and had I listened to myself, then I could have avoided a lot of trauma wounding, abuse, whatever you want to call it within that particular church.
Sometimes, you know, maybe you’re just not feeling it. Maybe you just don’t want to go that Sunday or that Wednesday, maybe you’re tired of going constantly, or maybe just hanging out with some friends or your family. That is fine too. That is okay. Where two or more are gathered. He is in our midst.
So again, if you feel like you shouldn’t go if you’re having anxiety when you walk through the door, that’s your body telling you something is not right there. And I would walk out.
I’m telling you if they can get you to second guess your judgment or your gut, what happens after a period of time is you start to have a difficult time making decisions, whether they’re big moves or simple things, the longer you remain in that abusive atmosphere the harder time you’re going to have to make decisions, simple ones, should I go to the grocery store? Should I leave this abusive church?
Everything becomes this big thought process and wondering, am I making the right decision? And it can be big or small depending upon your makeup, your history how long you’ve been told and indoctrinated to, think that you can’t trust yourself that you need to do something when you don’t think it’s right, or when your gut is telling you, something’s not right. You have to do it anyway. There’s nothing okay about that. I’m sorry. You’re your body. You’re smart. You’re an intelligent being and God lives within you. So God in you is actually giving you a warning.
You should feel good about going to church. If that is your home, which is what they say, they call it your church family, church community a place to heal to grow to fellowship. You should feel good. Every time you step through that front door, you should not hear words that tell you to go against what your body, your brain, common sense, your gut, and your heart is telling you. Sometimes you might shake, and get nervous. Why, what is that? Your body’s telling you something is off, right?
It should be a happy experience. It should be something you want to go to. You should feel good when you step in and you should feel good when you leave.
A healthy church group, study, and fellowship would tell you to, pray about it. What is your gut feeling? What is your heart say? What are you thinking? What does common sense Say? That’s healthy.
So if you begin to believe that you cannot trust yourself, that you have to go to church because they know more about you and about God, then you’re capable of that’s not okay. You are capable of hearing God and knowing about God all on your own.
So if you have any questions feel free to ask. And I’d be happy to answer again. This is a judgment-free place. I love you. I hope that helps some of you if this speaks to you if you have had a weird gut feeling or felt like you shouldn’t be similar and you’d continue to go if you have been through some church trauma, or maybe you’re just on the fence, you’re not sure what’s going on, let me know. I’d love to help you cause we’re in this all together and God loves you and you have value and you are capable of making amazing decisions, right? All on your own because God does not create junk. And even if you don’t believe in God, you are amazing and you are capable. You have great value. You have a brain, you have a gut, you have a heart. Listen to it and follow it.
Love and Light,
Heather Silva
